What Happens in Vegas, Gets Put in a Fanfic!
by Baron Hausenpheffer
Summary: After the Dark Tournament, Koenma treats the Poltergeist Reporters to a trip to Sin City! However, rest and relaxation may not be on the menu, after all... Read and Review, purty please
1. Part 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Yu Hakusho. Just as well; as far as I'm concerned, the best partended after Kuwabara and Yusuke "killed" Toguru and saved Yukina. But that's just my opinion... I also don't own the Gambling King, a minor character from Ranma 1/2 that's going to make a brief appearance here.

LAS VEGAS

"Wow! I can't believe that we're actually here!" beamed Botan.

After the really, **really** excruciating "Dark Tournament", Koenma had decided that the Spirit Detective and his friends deserved a vacation for a job well done. He was quite generous:

_"Anywhere in the world, except Mississippi. (shudders)"_

(Do not, dear Mississippian readers, take this as an insult to your great state. Even YOU have to admit that a guy wearing a cape and sucking on a pacifier would not leave there with pleasant memories, to say the least...)

After much wrangling, the crew finally agreed that Sin City was the way to go! Now Yusuke, his girlfriend Keiko, his master Genkai, and his friends Kuwabara, Kurama, Hiei, and Yukina were riding down the Vegas Strip in a hot-pink 1954 cadillac (also courtesy of Koenma), enjoying the sights. Kuwabara's sister had declined to join them (_"When it comes to this sort of stuff, I have the WORST luck in the world!"_).

"Yusuke," said Kurama, "the 'Aladdin's Palace Casino' is directly ahead. Unless you have a particular preference to the contrary, why don't we try there?"

"Works for me, man!" Yusuke replied.

He pulled the car into the parking lot and the crew disembarked.

As they walked into the front door, they were bowled over by the sheer opulence of the place. The casino absolutely glittered! Almost everything was painted gold or silver, and it was bustling with all kinds of people from all walks of life: vacationers like themselves, shady-looking card sharks, and high-rollers that looked like they could give Sakyo a run for his money (literally). The seven friends' faces were glowing (even Hiei was grinning ear to ear) as they all tried to contain their excitement. All, that is, except one...

"Man, I can't believe I'm stuck here," mumbled Kuwabara.

"Shut it, Kuwabara," Yusuke replied, slightly annoyed, "we voted democratically and this is what 6/7 of us decided on. You're still young; you'll get to see the Great Wall of China someday."

"Oh, cheer up, silly," Botan said, "I'm sure you'll find some way to have fun. Besides, your glumness may be catchy, and you want to show Yukina a good time, don't you?"

His face brightened and, turning toward Yukina, he managed a smile. "Right! Who needs gambling? With you by my side, baby, I'm already as rich as a man can possibly be!"

"Poor girl," sighed Hiei, "doomed to poverty at such a young age!"

"Hey shrimp! What's that supposed to mean?!" Kuwabara yelled.

"Oookay! I'd say this is our cue to split up! Let's all meet outside the casino at 6, alright?" Yusuke grinned. The others quickly agreed.

"This is so exciting, Yusuke!" giggled Kaiko. "Do you think we'll win any money?"

Genkai smirked. "You won't catch me wasting my money in the casino. There's an arcade over in the corner, and my quarters are burning a hole in my pocket!"

"Sounds like fun," Botan giggled. "I'll come with you!"

As the two headed off, Yukina tugged at Kuwabara's sleeve.

"Kazuma, I'm honestly not feeling well. I think I'm going to go sit on the couch over there for a while." she whispered.

Concern filled Kuwabara's face. "Really? Are you okay, sweety? Let me sit with you until you feel better!"

"No, Kazuma. You go have fun with the others. I'll be fine!"

He was about to protest further, but she put a finger over his mouth and said "I insist!"

Reluctantly, Kuwabara let his ice apparition heartthrob go and joined the others at the slots.

CACHINK! CACHINK! CACHINK!

"Rats!" yelled Yuskuke. "Absolutely nothing!"

"Feh! Leave it to a pathetic human to lose to a tiny machine. Let me show you how it's done!"

Hiei put in every last one of his tokens and pulled the lever.

CACHINK! CACHINK! CACHINK!

"What?! It can't be!" Hiei gasped.

"Hahaha! Looks like the only things more pathetic at gambling than humans are shrimps!" Kuwabara started rolling around on the floor in a fit of laughter but suddenly stopped when the little demon's aura went through the roof! Panic spread across everyone's face; was he going to summon the Dragon of the Darkness Flame to eat Kuwabara?! Luckily, his anger was directed in another direction.

"Grr... STUPID MACHINE! FACE MY WRATH!!!"

It was all Yusuke could do to hold Hiei back; the short fighter was flailing wildly with his sword and was so mad he could barely see straight.

"SIGH. Perhaps Hiei should join Yukina on the couch. Those were all of his tokens; besides, I'm afraid someone with his temper shouldn't be playing games of chance." Kurama said.

"Sounds like a plan! HUFF! HUFF! C'mon you!" Yusuke replied as he hauled Hiei over to the couch.

Out of curiosity, Kurama tried the machine, with equal luck.

"Hmph. Only a fool would risk his money in such a machine as this!" he grumbled. Then he looked over toward the poker table and got a new idea. "Aha! Finally, a game for someone of my intelligence! Riches, here I come..."

As Kurama walked over to the table full of cardsharks, Kuwabara was left alone at the slots. He quickly looked left and right to see if anyone was watching.

"I guess I could give this thing a shot..."

He walked up to the one the others had tried, and was about to insert his token when he suddenly froze. He inexplicably withdrew his hand and walked to a different one three machines to the left. He put his token in and pulled the lever.

CACHINK! CACHINK! CACHINK!

Kuwabara burst into a happy little jig as the slots stopped on "7-7-7" and money started pouring out of the machine.

----------

"DEAL!" yelled Kurama.

The man across the table from him simply grinned. Ever since his defeat in Japan two months ago, the portly little man with the poker face (literally; he looks like the 'King of Hearts') had been training in Vegas in the art of "Martial Arts Gambling." Before coming here, he was only able to beat children, idiots, and people with absolutely no control over their facial muscles. Early on during training here he had incurred considerable debts, but now it was all paying off; he was the best gambler in Las Vegas, and was quickly becoming the richest. His fame had become such that the Aladdin's Palace Casino had even allowed him to "set up shop" inside to attract more business; that's what he was doing now.

"Son, you seem to overestimate yourself," he replied in a voice strangely reminiscent of Sean Connery's. "Don't you realize that the house always wins?"

"All I know is that you've taken the money of many people whom you've outsmarted. Prepare to be put in their position," replied Kurama quietly.

"Well!... If that's the case, let us begin in earnest," the King laughed.

**To be continued...**

O.K.! Half done (or is it half full?) with this fanfic. I actually didn't intend for it to be a two-parter, but since it was a little long, I figured I might as well split the bugger in two.

**Next time:**

Find out how well (or poorly) Yusuke and Kaiko did, financially speaking!

Watch Hiei, the demon-pauper, sit around doing nothing! (**HIEI**: "_Silence, foolish human author_!")

Discover who's the better video-gamer: Botan or Genkai!

See if Kurama can defeat the Gambling King!

And what of Kuwabara?

FIND OUT NEXT TIME, SAME BARON-TIME, SAME BARON-CHANNEL!!!


	2. Part 2

**Last time: The group arrived in Vegas and stepped into the Aladdin's Palace Casino. Genkai and Botan went to the arcade, and Yusuke and Kaiko went ... somewhere. Hiei lost all of his money, Yukina is cooling her heels, and Kuwabara appears to be better at gambling than one would think. However, the main attraction is currently Kurama, who is going for broke against the legendary Gambling King! **

_30 minutes later..._

All of the other gamblers had been forced off the table in 15 minutes. The Gambling King and Kurama had dominated the table, each increasing their winnings tenfold. Now, the two were locked in a battle of wits that seemed to be going nowhere.

"This could take forever," mumbled the King. "How would you like to play a little 'sudden death' game of 'Old Maid', winner-take-all?"

"'Old Maid'?" Kurama asked, surprised. "Seems a little infantile, but I guess I have no objections."

"Excellent! This is the lightning version; whoever holds the 'old maid' on the fifth turn loses."

The cards were dealt, and the two began playing. By "accidentally dropping" subtle, **wrong** clues about which one was the old maid, they traded it back and forth until it was the fourth turn.

"Yes! HE has the old maid, and all I have to do is not pick that one to win!" Kurama silently rejoiced. This time, he was going to be extra-careful. He wasn't sure which one to pick, until he noticed that one card had a bent spot on the corner where he had grabbed it earlier.

"Aha!" Kurama yelled, pulling a different card from the King's deck. "Now I've got yo--**GACK!!!**" Kurama looked in disbelief at his deck, which now had the old maid in the dead center of it.

"Kid, it was a pleasure."

King scooped up Kurama's tokens and walked away, leaving the half-demon sitting there in open-mouthed disbelief. "How... how could he have...eh?" Kurama grabbed the top right corner of the card and felt a loose spot. With a tug, he pulled the old maid sticker off.

"I...I've been had!" he yelled.

He looked wildly around him, but the Gambling King, like Kurama's money, was long gone.

----------------

Kurama, Hiei, and Yukina waited outside the casino for the others to appear. Botan and Genkai were the first to show up.

"How did you get so good at that game?! It's inhuman, I tell you!" Botan whimpered.

"Gotta have something to do up on that mountaintop. Besides, having the best reflexes in the world doesn't hurt either," Genkai replied. "Anyway, why are you boo-hooing? You only got beaten 1,567 times! Ha ha ha ha ha!"

"Hello, Botan, Master Genkai!" Yukina smiled. "Did you enjoy yourselves?"

Brightening, Botan replied, "Sure did! All of our quarters have gone to the big bank in the sky!"

"Yes, and Botan here is actually a pretty worthy opponent. My thumbs haven't had that kind of a workout in quite some time!" Genkai added.

"I only wish we had enjoyed such luck," Kurama complained. "Hiei spent--and lost-- all of his tokens in one place, and I fear I was tricked by a clever card shark."

"YUSUKE!!! How could you have spent all of that money on one stupid slot machine?!"

The 5 turned to see Kaiko beating Yusuke over the head repeatedly with her purse.

"It said it was lucky, Kaiko!" he feebly protested.

"They ALL say that, stupid!!!" she almost screamed. The violence was halted when Kaiko noticed their friends laughing at their "leader's" predicament.

"It seems you were wiped out as well," Kurama grinned. "At least we all had the same luck."

The word "all" made them suddenly notice that someone was still absent.

"Say," Yukina wondered aloud, "have any of you seen Kazuma? He was supposed to meet us here..."

"Come to think of it, I haven't seen the fool since that abominable slot machine stole my money," Hiei remarked.

"Gee, I hope he's alright..." Botan said.

"I wouldn't worry about that boy. He's more than able to handle himself; just a little absent-minded. He'll probably show up, all out of breath, any moment now," Genkai said.

Just then a white limosuine, complete with black tinted windows, golden rims and hood ornament, and a chauffer, pulled up next to the casino.

"Man, I wonder who owns THAT?..." Yusuke said.

"Oh, yuck, Yusuke! You're drooling on my foot!" yelled Kaiko.

"Sorry!" he apologized. "It's just that...what a car!"

"We could almost have afforded that, if we hadn't wasted our money at this stupid casino," Kurama said regretfully.

The window suddenly rolled down and a harsh voice shouted from inside:

"What are you doing on my sidewalk, you filthy peasants?!"

"WHAT?!" they all yelled back.

"I don't care if he is rich; I'm gonna clobber that creep!" Yusuke yelled angrily.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the voice replied. "Not if--", Kuwabara stuck his head out the window, "you want a ride in this **COOL** limo!"

"**_KUWABARA?!!!!_**"

Yusuke and the others all faceplanted onto the sidewalk. Kuwabara stepped out of the car; he was wearing a black tuxedo and held a champagne glass in his left hand.

"Alright, you bufoon!" yelled Hiei. "Spill it! HOW did you get this kind of money?!"

"From the slots, tiny!" he replied, "I just picked the ones that felt lucky, and I think I got...uh...$2,000,000. How much is that in yen, anyway?"

Kurama turned white. "A LOT."

"Ah, of course!" Genkai said knowingly. "With Kuwabara's enormous spirit awareness, he could find every lucky slot machine in the entire casino! Wish I had brought my life savings with me; I would've let him 'invest it.' Hahahaha!"

"Well, lucky for you guys, I ain't greedy! We're gonna party all night and then fly home first class! Except you, Yukina," Kuwabara added. "You and I are renting out the deluxe compartment in the front of the plane!"

"Thank you, Kazuma! This is very generous of you!" Yukina beamed.

"Aw, think nothin' of it, sweet thing!" he replied. He led her to the limo and helped her in, then hopped in himself.

"C'mon, you guys! Are we going to party or not?" Kuwabara asked, grinning ear to ear.

"We're gonna party!" they all yelled, scrambling to get inside.

"Kuwabara..." Yusuke, the last to get in, thought to himself, "they broke the mold and closed the factory when they made you."

"Get in, Yurumeshi, or you'll have a long walk!" Kuwabara yelled from inside.

"Alright, alright! Hold your horses!"

Yusuke hopped inside, and the group sped off into the night.

**THE END**

The morals to this story are:

1. Every goofball has his day, and

2. Don't gamble your money away, unless you have a monstrous amount of spirit awareness and can make a sword appear out of thin air.

Happy trails!


End file.
